7 Stereotypes on Every Football Team

No matter what level of football you are playing at, these 7 types of teammates will be on your team, guaranteed.

1) The Lunk

mike_alstott_1995_09_02The lunk plays either fullback or linebacker, and can squat a house.  You are never sure if he is taking excessive amounts of protein, or something more serious.  He cannot catch a cold, in part because he cannot lift his arms above his shoulders anymore.  He plays football because, well, that is all he knows and he loves legally being able to hurt people. Not the brightest guy usually, but always fun to be around.

2) Pretty Boy Quarterback

matt ryanHe is part frat, part golfer, and very good with the ladies.  You feel like everything he has gotten in life has come so easy for him because of his pretty face. He never looks as old as the rest of the guys because he has a baby face, but for some reason the girls love him. Yes he is a great leader, charismatic guy, clutch quarterback, but you are secretly jealous of him.

3) The Immovable Object

fat-football-player-running-214x300Besides football, there are not too many other sports where someone tipping the scales at 350 plus can be successful.  You love this guy. He is always cracking jokes about himself, and is the most comfortable guy on the team in his own skin.  He loves showing his belly, and even has people rub it for good luck before games. Yes, he is always last in running, but it is not from lack of effort. He cannot be blocked or moved ever. He wins all the food eating competition in town, and has his picture hanging in three different restaurants for his first place finishes.  One thing you can count on with this guy is he will always ask for your leftovers.

4) The Mood Swinger

7839b8fe-ecbc-477a-a22e-126b8b0bc4f6news.ap.org_r620x349He is the most relaxed calm guy on the field…until you tick him off.  It can be as simple as accidentally stepping on his toe, and he will go HULK MODE fast.  You know when he is in Hulk Mode to stay away and let him cool down.  He usually apologizes after the rage subsides and you, still scared, quickly accept his apology. Just be careful around this guy, you never know what will put him over the edge.

5) Nature’s Gift to Earth

121enoyYou are pretty sure this guy came out of his mother’s womb with a six pack. You never see him workout, but he is the fastest most talented player you have ever seen.  He eats only fast food, yet maintains perfect physique.  He does not know the plays, yet coach still puts him ahead over you because, well, he is just a lot more talented. You resent him at all times, but you wish you were him or at least had half of his talent. He is also probably the only guy on your team with a legit shot at the NFL.

6) The Kicker

foster-loosens-up-almondjpg-f42601e1de2c130aThis guy does nothing during practice, yet still acts like his day was rough.  He has been playing football for two years now and still talks about how he misses soccer. He loves telling everyone he is a football player and on the team, and every time you overhear him tell somebody you cringe.  The worst part about it is he is actually one of the most important components to your team and can either win you games or lose you games. You need him and that is why you kind of act like you like him.

7) The Team Rudy

622x350This guy has your respect.  He is not the biggest, not the fastest, not the most talented, but he is the hardest worker.  No matter how much the coaches degrade him, he still works harder than you.  You want this guy to succeed and every now and then you tell him he is doing a good job.  Without guys like this, your team would not be the same. He adds a sense of inspiration to the locker room and everyone loves him.

(These are all gross stereotypes, and by no means represent any real people)

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